Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Questions and a state of mind.

Ready and submitting
 So today is another vanity post I suppose. I'll get back to some caps here soon, most likely tomorrow. But I've put off making this post for a while and I also have a question from formspring to answer. ^_^

(Can u make some caps of diapered issues or diapered cucks) 

I'm thinking this question came up because of the recent Pregnant Captions that I've been putting up. Well, I never gave much thought to diapered,or diapered cucks. Just like I never gave much thought so some other kinks or fetish's I don't share. I have no problem with them and wouldn't really have a problem capping them. (there's just a few hard limits I have. like scat or underage.)

My problem with doing a diapered caption would be, I really don't have an idea of what makes something like that appealing to people. For me, I can see there's some humiliation there but I find humiliation in so many other themes, diapered is not high on my list and therefore not a button pusher.

So like unique tf's or pregnant caps, I would have to have a reason for making something like that before I would consider it. Maybe I owed someone a trade for a caption they did for me, or it was some sort of challenge, or someone requested it in a donation reward. Then I would give it some thought and try and understand what it is that pushes your buttons about a diapered cap and see if I can find something in the story I'm telling, that also appeals to me on some lvl.  It's not my thing, But I'm not against trying new stuff.

Read on for a little more rambling.

Dee had recently discussed submission over at her blog and thought I should post my comments from over there, to over here. Seeing as how my blog is a little more (lot more!) geared towards the subject then her's is.  So before I go on, I should probably post her comment's first, before I put up my reply.

(Sometimes, doing things simply is the best policy.

I think this is a hot caption, and I"m glad that I made it for Jennifer, because I think she not only GETS the idea behind it, but appreciates it. As I've said before, the MIND is the biggest erogenous zone that humans have. It is what makes us appreciate something that not everyone else would like (fetishes) and keeps things interesting sexually. You can see it when browsing through the preferences databases and Haven members personal requests for what they do and don't like in captions made for them.

In this panel, I was trying to capture a bit of what I used to do when captioning, but still present it with my current presentation. It isn't complex, but gets right to the heart of the situation, and doesn't beat around the bush. There is technically a stinger at the end, but it isn't a twist as much as an affirmation about the whole situation that lead up to the ending.


I tend to fall into this form of submission. I have no desire to be tightly restrained. I would probably freak out and it would not end well. I also appreciated those with rope and knot skills, and wish I had studied more in boy scouts! However, being lightly tied up with nylons or fuzzy cuffs, and instead of a hood, perhaps a pair of a females panties over my eyes (perhaps pre-moistened by her aroused passion for controlling me) would NOT be rejected in my bedroom. I prefer my Dom/sub relationships to be more cerebral than actually physical. When I am Dom, I will taylor my control to what the sub would prefer, though I will always put my spin on it. IS that an actual knife I am using to trace a path down your spine, or just a letter opener? Does it really matter if your eyes are closed?


That is why I probably like this caption A LOT! Jennifer thinks much more about things like this, so I won't speak for her. She can probably talk much better about this, but I think the caption taps into that cerebral nature of submission.

DISCUSSION QUESTION: For you, does the control have to be more REAL or illusionary? What would the percentages be in your actual life? in TG captions?)

I firmly Believe that Submission, true Submission, starts in the mind. It can have the physical aspect with cuffs, blindfold's, gag's, clamps, etc. But those are all just tool's the enhance the initial submission from the Sub. You already have this feeling of, I want to give you control, I trust you. But the feelings that cuff's, or a blindfold would bring would leave you feeling more exposed, more vulnerable, more submissive. You gave all you could to this person and trust them to take care of you, but these tools are meant to draw you in further. or if your not naturally submissive already, put you in that state of mind.

Every one of my D/s Relationships have started in much the same way. it blossoms slowly. it's never, hey want to take control for a few hour's and make me feel like your pet? it's more subtle then that. I was never looking for a Mistress or master when I finally did meet one. OK, that's halve true, I am always looking But I wasn't going out and asking them to do it. I was just chatting to them like I would friend's or acquaintance's., then like a switch going off, I have this need, this feeling to call them Mistress/Ma'am or Master/Sir.

It just overwhelmed me, I would keep my tongue in check, but I couldn't deny how they made me feel. how they presented them self's was as if they were not speaking to me at face value, it was like they were talking to Jennifer, the submissive. it was quite a shock when I first felt this feeling, but it's considerably different from pretending. I felt as if someone had slapped on a pair of mental handcuff's and I liked it!

It was so simple to just step aside and let them control, It felt wonderful for me, freeing and exciting at the same time. I am always in control in my day to day life and I'm also always fighting against those things I can't control. Even when it comes to my own thoughts and feelings. but when I submitted, I didn't have to worry about that, sure.. these issues still were there, they existed. But I didn't have to put so much wasted energy into them, no.. I just have to deal with them as they came along and love being in the moment with my Dominate.

In real life, I would say it's a little hard to break down in percentage's. if you mean how much time I spend on either side of the fence. Well, that would be 99 % in control, and 1% submissive.

but if you mean how much I would like to give, that's where it gets tricky. The right person, the right situation, I would give 100% to them And everyone else would get nothing. So for one person I'm submissive, but in all other cases I'm In control. Breaking it down into percentages of how much you would give to someone is a little vague, because I don't submit to every single person. I don't Submit 20 % of the time to this person or that person, and then 80 % of the time I'm in control. It's just the one person I would submit to. So I could say it's 100% in control, and 100 % submissive.

in tg caps, heh.. that's pretty hard too. I like to fight it, like to say I'm not submissive and have someone fight me into submission. but I also enjoy caps where I'm just as naturally submissive to that one person, (or in the case of some caps, everyone!) as I can be in real life.

Some who know me, also know that my OCD can become quite the burden and the two issues came up in a sort of "therapy" session. The other person that was with me and discussing my OCD saw a little more of the reason's why Submission is a comfort to me.

Though I'm normally in control in all area's of my life, I also sub consciously take on things that are clearly beyond my, or anyone Else's control. So, I can find relief in submission from those things that would normally put unneeded stress on me. Not saying it takes care of it all, but it helps to have a more authoritative in charge, instead of the one that get's me stuck in a loop.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this on my own blog, but I know how I feel about submission and it's not only sexual, but appeals to me on a very personal level. I know that before I really discovered this side of my self years ago, that it was only a sexual thing, It was a huge turn on and sparked my curiosity. So when I say there's a considerably different feeling between role-playing submission and enjoying it for it's kink factor, I mean it touches me in more ways then just eroticism. Among them are things like, comfort, trust, acceptance, relaxation, pride, fulfillment, and one day I would hope, love.

So maybe I would like to hear your views on it, maybe your fondest memory's of submission? Playing around with it or a true moment where submission was a natural feeling for you. What would it take for you to get in that mindset? What does it take? What is it's appeal, if any, to you? Do you some times feel submissive or curious to know what it's like? Or maybe there's a few Dom/Domme's out there that can give there views their side of the fence, or what they like about submission in another person.


Dee Mentia said...

Wanted to give a little background on the caption I had posted for her. It involved Jennifer tied up (loosely) and had her "fighting" the submission and feminizing aspects of the situation. (I hope this was the one she is referring to LOL)

The gist was that there was no real physical domination as opposed to many of the other captions you'll see on the Haven and other places. The submission was all in her mind, and that she was free to leave at any time. She chose not to of course, but it was always there.

From there, she does a great job of explaining the appeal of submission, and glad that she posted it here where it might get a little more appreciation.

I am not going to comment further yet as I really want to see what others have to say first, especially since I tend more towards the dom spectrum.

sasha said...


Lady Alexia said...

The desire to just let go and be is something I crave sometimes. It is hard for me to be a Dom for others. People I have been with that need that from me do not realize the way it tires my mind out. It is much easier to ne told and know how to please the other person. I think that is why some people are bad at being Doms in chat. They do not realize we are literally waiting to be told what to do. So times drags on. When that happens I lose my trust and submissive nature. To be polite I will go along, but truthfully, I know I also begin using my skills to hurry up the chat because I am disconnected.

There have been times when special people have taken me and allowed me the freedom to truly be submissive to them. Yes Jennifer, you have been one. Those times I cherish inside and crave to have again.

When I know I am serving my Master or Mistress in ways that pleases them, I feel good. I feel loved at times. When this happens, when I feel loved and safe, I slip completely into a submissive Pet and would do anything for them. It is partly why hypnosis works on me. I let go and allow the feelings to manifest and then it can become reality. The mind is powerful and in my case, the only way I receive intimacy.

Jennifer said...

@ Dee

I had linked to the caption it self in the post. Not sure why it isn't highlighted, but I'll take care of that. I would like to see more people talking about it, and I thought I might get more comments but as it is, you got more on your own blog.

@ Sasha

See? I don't count this sissy's comment at all.

@ Alexia

I feel the same way about domming. IT can drain me pretty fast if I have to keep it up for very long. I have no problem sharing my little bit of skill at it now and then, but I much prefer being the sub.

I think most people that say they are dom, don't really know what it's like for a sub or how to take control in that way. you can be in control in your day to day life, most subs are in control that way. But it's different when it's more intimate or sexual. I think the only reason I'm good at playing a domme, is because I know what a sub wants and craves, since I'm a sub my self.

I'm glad that you enjoyed our time together, I am always happy to share that little bit of fun, relaxation, and happiness when and where I can. I'm glad that you still cherish that, I'm glad that I could provide you with a happy memory. ^_^

Caitlyn Masked said...


I like how you talk about being a sub is a mental thing first, and physical later (if ever). While I like to play at a sub feeling in a lot of the caps I make... or at least I thought I did... I don't think I'm all that sub. I have never had the feeling that I would like to give control to a specific person. I've met some people who wanted to be more dom... but it just didn't' feel right. I would play along and try to be sub to them, but they didn't ever have control. I just liked doing what they told me to do at the time, and they took that as Doming. But the instant they would have asked for something that I didn't want to do... well I don't think I would have done it.

With what you wrote, and looking back at my caps, I see that I am more about forced against your will. Not sub. And I guess I had those mixed up. I believed that sub was something that could be trained, and forced upon someone. I believe that obedience can be taught, but a true Dom/sub relationship wouldn't happen that way.

On the flip side, I like the fantasy of being a Dom, but I've never met someone in particular that I would want to Dom. I think my closest relationships have been a more equal partnership. And all of my friendships have been the same.

Jennifer said...

@ Caitlyn

Well, I do plenty of the forced against your will stuff in my own captions. But I don't think I've ever done a real submission caption. I want to do one, but it's a subject close to me so it's hard to figure out where to start.

It's interesting to hear that you have a fantasy of being a Dom, though I think it's a bit of a murky area with being equal. I know what your saying, and we discussed it in chat, but I don't think willingness to submit puts me under anyone Else's self worth.

I'm just valued in their eye's differently I guess. Not that I'm not their equal. So perhaps you could still feel equal that person, while feeling something click and make a D/s connection.

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