Tuesday, June 21, 2011

 Ho ho ho! ok, enough about me. how is everyone doing? Good I hope! ^_^ I have a brand new two part caption for you all today! yay! If you just want to have your bell rung, give it a read and let me know what you think.

My hypnosis sessions are going very well. I'm working on two triggers so far and both have the same effect, to help me go under faster. but one is for me to use and one is for my friend to put me under. I also have found a lot more insight into my OCD and what possibly bothers me with all of that. So, some fun and insightful things going on. ^_^

If you would like to hear a little more with some behind the scenes stuff, then just join me after the page break. ^_^


So, I think this caption got a slightly different response at the haven then what I was going for. Of course they still enjoyed it. But no one seemed to get that Sara did not really want this and that her tormentor was just rubbing it in. Mocking her and claiming that she really had wanted this.

I've seen that sort of taunt and tease many times in TG Fiction, roleplays, (just had it happened to me actually. ) and other captions. so Maybe I was just too vague.  But I seriously thought that her anger, combined with Sara's tears after he kisses her and her attempt to win, made it clear that this guy was just toying with her and she didn't want to be a girl.

Maybe it's the fact I didn't detail what had happened to her after she lost the second time. But I left in one clue in the text, "I don't care what's on the fucking line!" and had hoped that it would be enough for the readers to understand,that there was a bet placed on the rematch. Something that was a very big gamble, but Sara was angry enough to go through with it anyway.

Either way, I'm still happy with it and I wouldn't change a thing. like in real life, not everything has to be pointed out and detailed. I left the hint to help it out, but I didn't think it felt right for me to have to explain it in exact detail in their dialog.

In fact, the whole idea behind this caption was to work with two narrators, the victim and the victor. So I wanted to try and show through her dialog how she truly felt. with all of the added font works and cussing thrown in for good measure as she trains for the next match. I felt she came across just angry enough to carry over into the second half and that with how the antagonist talked down to her and mocked her situation, that he really wasn't telling the truth or concerned about Sara's true feelings. all that mattered now, was that Sara lost a second time and was now his little pet.

But, I do like how you can read the cap and see it as sort of a sweet ending. in that interpretation the antagonist's additional mocking doesn't work as well, but Sara seems OK with it. I also don't think the line "I don't care what's on the fucking line!" works either.  If it was true that she did want this and that Sara was just too embarrassed to admit it, then it becomes a unneeded piece of text.

But I hope no matter how you interpret, you enjoyed it. ^_^

7 comments:

venatus said...

nice cap, and yes that extra rubbing it in does seem to give the cap a certain direction, and makes the situation very sexy.

Alectra said...

Hmmm for me it's seems she is enjoying the final result, even if she cursing his captor!
A good one like always Jennifer
Hugs and Kisses Alectra

Jennifer said...

@ Alectra
She is enjoying it at the end, but what is just lightly hinted at in the cap, is that something else was placed on the line for the second match. that being her obedience really. I didn't say it out right because I was hoping that it was a big enough hint when it was tied together with all of the previous dialog and emotions. She clearly hated him and hated what he had done. Actions speak louder then words and all that.

And he clearly was toying with her the whole time, laughing, dancing around her in the second match, even kissing her to humiliate her in the match. She tried to win, even getting in a few hits, but in the end he knocked her out with one shot. Which means he won what was on the line.

If someone could give me a good explanation of what else could possibly be on the line to help explain the sudden shifts, then I think I could better understand why that was too vague. Other wise people are just skipping over that clue and plot point altogether.

Glad you enjoyed it. ^_^ And thanks Cindy!

Caitlyn Masked said...

Jennifer,

I think this is a really good series. I guess I am in the minority as I never thought she was 'happy' with the result. She was so fired up, and his dialog seems so condescending. Even the photo she doesn't look 'happy' to be there.

My only complaint is that at first I didn't recognize it as a two part cap. And I didn't get that it WAS until the 4th text box on the second panel. At that point it clicked.

So story wise, I don't think you should change a thing. Design wise... maybe something to tie the two panels closer together... a common background or at least background element...

Jennifer said...

@ Caitlyn

Thank you! glad that you picked up on all of that. I see what your saying about not knowing it's a two part caption, probably naming them something different doesn't help either.

But I just thought it helped convey a change, not just from before the fight and after she lost, but also the narrator switch. One if full of fire, hate, and revenge. The other is softer,condescending, and has nothing to prove.

Maybe I should have added a 1 and 2.. heh.

A Nony Moose said...

I was a bit confused about it being a 2-parter too. I think it may have come together slightly better if the second panel would have used a gradient background from the red to the milder color.

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