Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Remove your mask for me

Hello everyone! I'm slowly working my way out of my writers block, bit by bit. A lot of my friends and fellow caption authors have also been offering their own suggestions, (or frustrations) with how to deal with their own writers block and it seems to have helped. Thanks everyone!

This is my second caption I've made in as many days, and It's a little different then most of my other work. Like My  Requiem for a dream Caption, I took a song and wrote out a story to a section of the music. This time it was Nara by E.S. Posthumus and I did it for the wonderfully sweet Caitlyn over at Caitlyn's Masks. (Head over there now if you want to see her cap back to me!If your would like to give it a shot, Start reading the caption around 1:17 to 1:46. I hope you all enjoy! ^_^

If you haven't read the caption yet, don't read any further! 

Caitlyn Really enjoyed the first Music caption I did and loved how I gave the story a soundtrack. Even though I only had so much room to write out the story, when mixed with all of the other elements in the caption, I had made something stronger, more powerful and filled with different emotions. Ok, So It's a just a TG caption set to some music, but I was pretty proud of it and lots of people seemed to get a kick out of it. 

Caitlyn in particular Really enjoyed all of the different aspects to the caption, so I always wanted to do one for her as well. But it took me a good while till I found another song that clicked the same way Requiem for a dream did. This week I ran across the song nara and knew it would be perfect for caitlyn's music caption. 

I had heard the song before but I never knew the name, I played it out over the weekend and was drawing a blank on what the story could be. It sounded urgent,  but also hopeful and a little peaceful. It wasn't till I found that picture last night that I came up with the hypnosis theme. 

Like the Requiem caption, I had a whole back story thought up for the caption before I started to write out the dialog. I pictured that Calvin had been seeing a therapist for a few months to help treat his shyness. He didn't feel like him self and wanted to break out of his shell, remove his mask so he could just be him in front of everyone and just be at peace with himself.  Of course, this is a TG caption and that meant Caitlyn was just under the surface, waiting to break free and live life! :D

The whole process would have taken a few months, earning each other's trust and slowly breaking down the wall that kept caitlyn locked up inside of Calvin. I thought the therapist only had good intentions for Calvin and really wanted him to open up to her. It was become clearer to her with each session that to really know Calvin and get him over his fears, she had to speak to caitlyn. 

which brings us to the point of the story in the caption. I hope that the story I just detailed, match's with how you saw the story when you first read it. If not, I would like to hear what you thought was going on. I sent it out to a few friends and everyone saw basically the same thing I just wrote out. They knew that it was hypnosis, they knew the therapist was trying to help Caitlyn, not force this on her, and they got the whole mask metaphor. 

And just for fun, how about some first drafts?

The first draft felt too vague, I asked my friend Cindy thoughts of a random transexual and she confirmed those fears.. I had been working on the cap for 2 to 3 hours now, so I was very willing to ix the problem, I was just worried that I might not get it done today. Cindy said it seemed like someone was forcing her into sex, and the hypnosis feeling I was going for was completely lost, She only picked up on that after I pointed it out.
So I went back over the caption and tried to add more references to relaxation and get rid of problem area's. That being, the "hear dear.. Let me.. Let me help you" 
More caring then before, but still too vague...  I finally ended up with the final draft you see above, changing the 4th and 6th line's and giving a reference to Calvin and Caitlyn so it's more clear that theres a TG element in the story. In the end, I think I worked in all of the right elements for readers to pick up on what's happening. I was very happy to finally get another one of these music captions done and I hope you all enjoyed it too. ^_^


venatus said...

lovely caption (all versions though you did pick the best. and it's always nice hearing about your process

Caitlyn Masked said...

Well I LOVE the cap! I think Cindy steered you right, as the first one doesn't have that 'I want to help you' feel that comes across so beautifully in the final version.

I think you are moving into some new wonderful territory here. One cap with music is an anomaly. But two is the beginning of a pattern.

We've talked before how a cap is just a story an a picture laid out together. While this cap is great without the music, the music does add more to it. After reading it several times with the music, it now seems 'less' without the music (and to make sure, I just cued up the song and read it again... just lovely!)

Jennifer said...

@ Cindy

Thank you, and thank you for the help. ^_^ It can be hard trying to remain vague and only working with so much space in the song. I was able to work it out until I got exactly what I wanted to come through.

@ Caitlyn

Thank's sweetie. very happy with how it turned out and so glad you loved it. ^_^ I want to do a few more, it offers a different experience when reading it with the song.

I think your right about it feeling 'less' with out the music playing along. And that makes sense, since I didn't write a single word of it with out following each beat of the song.

I kept playing the section and would read it out again and again till the next beat in the song, and then I would start writing small little blurbs of text. Doing it again and again till I had one full line, and then I moved on to the next and do it again.

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