Friday, March 22, 2013

OOOKKAAYY! I know it's been a while, but believe me, things have been busy for me. Fear not! When ever I had a little free time, (and privacy) I have been capping.

unfortunately, a few of them just felt flat. I would have been back and posting sooner, but I didn't want to just have those to post. I'm sure some people will find some enjoyment out of them, but I felt they could have been better.

Which brings us to today's caption! This one was done up for smitty and i think it turned out pretty well. I think the ending fits pretty well, because everything that comes before it, to me at least, does a good job of setting it up and then letting the reader take over.

I know there's been quite a few comments made to some of my older caps, including a question or two, And I'll be dedicating a post to those questions very soon! And as a bonus, stay tuned after the cap to see the first rough draft of this story.

 I was about 5 pages into this story before comic life froze on me and I lost everything! But it wasn't before I had accidentally exported the first 1 and a half pages of the cap. In the end, I'm glad I had to start over, because it allowed me to really push the confusion and frustration she was feeling.

The frustration and fleeting moments of regret is the biggest thing I wanted to convey. anyone that's been obsessed with something they shouldn't be, should know what she's going through. You don't know why you want this or need to do it, and you will feel like hell once it's through, But in that moment, it's all you really care about.

In a way, it's a self made prison. But I also wanted it left up to the reader if it was really always in her, or if it was put there by the room mate. I took a gamble with the twist ending coming around as it did, but I think I set it up well enough that it isn't so jarring that it feels out of place.

Which as you will see in the following deleted pages, I didn't do as well. I barely mentioned the room mate in the first draft, which didn't give the reader much of a chance to get to know him and the relationship they had.

I wanted to try and show that she was just as confused by it all as the reader is, and when it's reveled that Jeremy was the one putting that thought into her head, it's as big a surprise to you as it is her. But by now, she's so far gone, there's nothing she could do to resist him.


Caitlyn Masked said...

Great series Jennifer!

At first I didn't like that the text was there without the boxes, but the more I read the more that I realized that design feature helped me see that her thoughts were running right into each other. That feeling was fully realized when I saw your rough draft... it didn't have that same frantic feel to it.

I agree adding Jeremy into the cap earlier helped. It was great seeing her get more and more frustrated, and wondering if Jeremy was really a 'good' roommate, or if he was somehow causing this. I really like that you allowed that thought to drag out until the end.

Very squirmy scenario, and very squirmy cap! Bravo!

Anonymous said...

My magical tranformation real boy into girls!!!

Anonymous said...

I think your rough draft had a lot of merit to it, but in the end it might have worked out better having to start from scratch as that is one hell of a wonderfully squirmy series. Mmm I love your hypnosis related captions.

SweetGaelle said...

i like it very much, well done

Jennifer said...

Thank you everyone for the kind words on this caption. I read every comment, including all of the comments on older caps.

I'll try to keep my hypnosis captions coming, I've always had a soft spot for them my self. ^_^

Anonymous said...

OH yes I want to be hypnotized

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